You pour your heart into your practice, striving to create a safe, understanding space for every client. You dedicate yourself to learning, growing, and providing the best possible care. But what if, despite your best efforts and deepest empathy, you’re inadvertently missing crucial cues from your neurodivergent clients?
In the nuanced world of psychotherapy, understanding neurodivergent communication isn’t just about reading a diagnosis; it’s about seeing the world through a different lens. It’s about recognizing that what appears to be uncooperative behavior or a lack of insight might actually be a completely different way of processing, feeling, or expressing. As therapists, our growth comes from continually refining our perceptions and challenging our assumptions. So, how can we ensure we’re truly connecting?
Let’s explore seven subtle signs that might indicate you’re misunderstanding neurodivergent needs, offering a chance to deepen your therapeutic relationships and enhance your practice.
1. Misinterpreting “Resistance” as Unwillingness
Ever had a client you felt was “resisting” progress or engagement? Perhaps they struggle to start tasks, follow through on homework, or articulate their feelings in the moment. For neurodivergent individuals, this often isn’t defiance, but rather the manifestation of executive dysfunction, processing delays, or sensory overwhelm. Their brain’s operating system might simply require more time, different prompts, or a quiet space to process before responding.
2. Over-Reliance on Purely Verbal Communication
As psychotherapists, we often default to verbal dialogue as the primary mode of exploration. However, many neurodivergent individuals find verbal expression taxing, especially when under pressure or experiencing strong emotions. They might excel in other forms of communication—writing, drawing, or even using visual aids. Are you providing alternative avenues for them to express themselves authentically, or are you inadvertently shutting down their natural channels?
3. Dismissing Sensory Sensitivities as Minor Annoyances
The hum of the HVAC, the texture of the couch, the brightness of your office lights, even the faint scent of your lotion—what might be background noise or imperceptible to you could be a constant, overwhelming assault for a neurodivergent client. These aren’t minor annoyances; they are significant distractions that can impede their ability to focus, regulate, and engage in therapy. Crafting inclusive spaces means actively considering and mitigating these sensory inputs.
4. Expecting Neurotypical Social Reciprocity
We’re trained to observe eye contact, body language, and reciprocal conversation as indicators of engagement and understanding. Yet, a lack of direct eye contact, a different emotional response, or a more direct communication style in a neurodivergent client often isn’t a sign of disinterest or disrespect. It’s simply their way of engaging, rooted in a different social operating system. Learning to read these diverse cues is crucial for building trust.
5. Focusing Solely on “Fixing” Divergent Traits
Are we, consciously or unconsciously, trying to “normalize” our neurodivergent clients, or are we helping them thrive authentically within their unique framework? Therapists sometimes focus on reducing perceived “deficits” rather than recognizing and amplifying the profound strengths inherent in neurodiversity, such as deep focus, pattern recognition, or unique perspectives. Remember that a truly holistic approach to therapy celebrates individual differences.
6. Neglecting the Need for Structure and Predictability
For many neurodivergent individuals, ambiguity can be a significant source of anxiety and overwhelm. A therapist who doesn’t clearly outline the session’s agenda, what to expect, or even the precise end time might inadvertently be heightening their client’s stress. Clear structures, consistent routines, and explicit expectations can be incredibly grounding and facilitate deeper therapeutic work. This is why timed sessions can significantly improve online counseling, for example.
7. Underestimating the Power of Special Interests or Hyperfocus
When a client delves deeply into a “niche” special interest, it might feel like a tangent or a distraction from the therapeutic work. However, these interests are often profound sources of joy, self-regulation, and deep expertise for neurodivergent individuals. They can be powerful bridges to connection, trust, and even therapeutic metaphors. Instead of redirecting, explore how these interests can be leveraged, perhaps even through tools like fidget devices that help unlock neurodivergent focus.
The journey of becoming a truly attuned psychotherapist is continuous, filled with learning, unlearning, and relearning. Recognizing these subtle signs isn’t about blaming ourselves, but about opening our awareness to new possibilities and refining our practice to be genuinely inclusive and effective for neurodivergent clients. It’s about evolving beyond the ‘perfect therapist’ myth and embracing the reality of continuous growth.
Embrace this journey of deeper understanding and adaptation. Your practice, and more importantly, your clients, will profoundly benefit from your willingness to see beyond the surface. After all, the unexpected reality of a therapist’s workday is often about confronting our own blind spots to better serve those who entrust us with their minds.
